Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
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Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
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Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same