all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
