WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
