and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We got so high we made milksteak
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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