She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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