she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
