they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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