a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize