hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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