I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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