we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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