one two three fourrrrnication!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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