Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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