Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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