We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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