I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
