C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
