:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she woke up with a sticky ear
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
