i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is it penis luge time yet?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
