Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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