i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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