week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Oh god it's open bar.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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