Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
