ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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