My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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