I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
