you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Randomize
