Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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