he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
