I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
