yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
