If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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