Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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