She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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