Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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