he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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