She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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