Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize