Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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