Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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