There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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