And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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