and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
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He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
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You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize