You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i need an iv and a liver transplant
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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