Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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