Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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