Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
