sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
