Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
