You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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