I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
