Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
