Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize