Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
