we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
