awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
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Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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