fuck your aforementioned shoe
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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