Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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