I think I won the penis lottery.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
