He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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