Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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