GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
