I think i peed on brittanys purse
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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